Jack and Jenna

Where Should I Draw the Line?

Our home is desperate need of a toy purge. With the celebration of Christmas along came stuff. Tons of it.

From Thomas to Lightening McQueen, we seem to have it all. While allowing friends and family to buy whatever they want for the boys I am paying for it now.

First
What do we keep and what moves on? Obviously toys that haven’t been played with for months will get their pink slip, but what about the new stuff…..you know the useless or inappropriate toys?

Second
How do I balance the fact that I have no desire to micromanage gift-giving for the boys and wanting them to learn to be appreciative?

While it is very hard ( and possibly impossible)for a 3-year-old to even understand empathy, how will he ever understand being thankful?

Can we have it all?

As I was driving yesterday I seemed to be preoccupied with the cars driving by.  Dangerous I know.  Seriously though, while I drive a car that is fairly new and perfect for me, the luxury cars stood out.  Many times there were no car seats in the back and the women or men  driving them looked around my age.  While I know there are factors that I am not seeing, I was thinking I could have that if I didn’t have kids.

Could I?  Is this the trade-off.  While having a luxury vehicle is not a priority to me, I do notice the women who are still shopping for themselves in stores.  I pass by as an envious onlooker as they take their time chosing the perfect blouse or shoes and I look in my cart and see diapers, wipes, and generic shampoo .

Do not misconstrue what I say, I would never give up my children as they are everything I have ever wanted.  But I have noticed a trend in society.

Stay single/dating and you have nice car, fancy clothes, and haircuts every six weeks.  Have children and you have trips to the pediatrician, car seats in your safe vehicle and split ends. While it is obvious that once children come along they take a majority of your income and that is ok. 

But it seems as if more and more people are chosing the “childless” world nowadays.  Women are working and chosing to have children later in life, if at all.

I sometimes wonder can we have it all at once?  If we have money our children are being cared for by someone else, if we are broke we raise our own children. So I wonder in the end what is more important and how does it weigh in life?

Shingles

For those of you that thought only the elderly get shingles(Varicella Virus), listen up.

Anyone who has had the chicken pox can get shingles. I am 32 yrs old and had a pretty heavy dose of chicken pox when I was around 10yrs old.

So imagine my confusion when I woke up Saturday morning with a red rash on my left ribcage area. Just underneath my breast there was a scattering of little red bumps that resembled bug bites. While it itched, it also had super-duper sensitivity in that area. Thinking it was bug bites, I went on my merry way.

After a few days of the rash not improving, I saw the doctor. I had began to feel queasy, tired, experienced pain in my back and neck as well as the rash starting to hurt.

He confirmed it. Shingles. I never once considered this diagnosis.

Looking back it all comes together. Having two small children I am always tired, but recently more than usual. Many mornings I had woken up with a stiff neck and back pain. I just brushed it off and kept going about my days the way I usually did.

My rash is fading thanks to medication I started.  But the pain and fatigue is still very real.  Of course my children now both have the risk of getting chicken pox.

What the real shocker here in this situation is the lack of info on shingles for Moms and nursing Moms.  My son is nursing and I was concerned over him contracting the virus and getting chicken pox.  Also the effect of the medication on him.  I could have gone without the meds and then risked myself getting worse.

After carefully considering it, I started medication.  I take the pill right after my son nurses so I have a good 3-4 hours for the medication to break down in my body.  He is 8 months old and eating a little bit of solids.  This helps to stretch his feedings out.  We have been making up for any nursing he wants to do at night.

Since we co-sleep this is not difficult and he nurses in bed.  At this point the medication is at a small amount in my body.  He can however become infected if he has direct contact with the rash, so I have taken caution while nursing. I keep it covered to prevent him from rubbing up against it.

While I could have gone without the medication, I could have also gotten worse.  That would have left me unable to care for my kids.  He is not experiencing any side effects at this time, but I am observing him closely.

I hope this helps ease anyone’s mind who is looking for information on breastfeeding and shingles.  I had a hard time finding anything so I really felt the need to share my experience.

What is Your Open Door Policy?

When it comes to using the bathroom, showering and anything else that requires privacy, having a toddler or small children in your home allows for none.  While I have resigned to this fact, I may possibly be able to control it more than I think.

What age does the door close?  When toddlers are learning to use the toilet, many times parents will model the behavior and let them in the bathroom.  Others like myself just leave the door open in order to hear what the boys are up to.  Many times my 2 1/2 year-old follows me into the bathroom just because he can and thinks nothing of it. When children are that young they have no concept of privacy or do they need it.  Where is the cutoff?

But when is it innocent or when is it inappropriate? Should I require my son to stand outside of the bathroom while I am using it? I personally don’t mind, but recently my son has started asking where my “wiener” is.  Not that I expose my self, but he seems curious.  While I have no problem teaching him about his body parts, mine are different. 

One of my weaknesses is I lack the ability to comfortably speak about body parts.  I know, as a mother I should be able to.  But when I grew up, we didn’t really talk about vaginas or penises.  I actually just gagged after realizing I typed those words.  If ever, it was simply referred to as your “body”.  I also don’t recall what page that lesson was on in the “Parenting Handbook” either.  Oh forgive me, there is no handbook.

Maybe because I am the only female in our household this has become an issue for me.  Would I feel more comfortable around little girls?  God, thats sounds bad.  Is this a gender issue or just a personal preference of privacy?

So here I am asking the question, when do we close the door and require privacy.  When and how do we explain the differences in our bodies? At the ripe old age of 2 I didn’t think my son was ready. At 3 I can’t see him being ready either.

Maybe I am not as bashful as I think.  It doesn’t really bother me when my son invades the bathroom while I am on the throne, but I do mind seeing his little eyes while I scamper to reach a towel after the shower.  Maybe its just different strokes for different folks.

Why Kai Lan is not watched in my house.

So I completely understand where the creators are coming from when they thought up the idea of Ni Hao Kai Lan show on Nick. 

However, just because the show claims to teach a lesson, doesn’t mean it is suitable for everyone.  My son who is turning 3 in  September, has learned numerous “bad” behaviors from this show.

The show claims they helps children understand their emotions.  Right. This is a skill that requires the appropriate age & maturity first.  Little did I know.  THe image of cute little faces & squeaky clean voices lured me in.  Until one afternoon I actually watched an episode.  It portrayed a little lion throwing a tantrum, and all the behaviors that go along with it.  Well, my son had never seen this kind of behavior yet.  2 1/2 Year olds are all about impression.  So I am sure you know what happened next.  My son now says No to me, folds his arms & gives a furrowed brow.  Just like the little lion.  No “exactly” like the little lion.

I am all for children to watch TV in moderation.  There is good out there, but mostly bad.  We haven’t had a problem yet as far as learning negative from TV shows.  It is now a combination of his age & the “older” kids shows he seems to like. 

More supervision doesn’t seem to be the answer.  But what is?  The extreme of no TV?  Or selective viewing?  Hmmmmm?

Roseola?

My five month old son had been acting very fussy, refusing to eat, having trouble sleeping, all the “signs” that he was sick. Wednesday I pack him & my 2 yr old son up and headed to the Pediatrician’s office. After a thorough check of both children, the Dr. assured me they were both healthy and nothing was wrong. He even attributed my infants problems to his acid reflux.

24 hours later, during the night, of course, my baby spiked a fever. While it was only about 100.9, I saw no need to have anyone paged, gave him some Tylenol, & went back to sleep. So did he. In the morning the fever was back, with a vengeance. To avoid the trip to the Pediatricians office, I called and the nurse recommened to give Tylenol and monitor him. I did. That night he spiked to 101.9. Not that high, but he is still young so we made a special Saturday trip to the Pediatricians office. This Dr., said his ears are” a mess”, prescribed antibiotics and we were on our way relieved my son would be feeling better shortly and we could get some sleep.

24 hours later, I noticed a rash starting on his tummy. I had the Dr. on-call paged & he advised me to stop the antibiotic, probably an allergy, and bring him back in on Monday. The next morning I put in a call to the Pediatricians office for another appointment.

Sitting in the exam room, I was dreading the word allergy to come out of our the doctors mouth. But it did not. After a specific description of what went on with my son the past few days, she checked his ears and looked at the rash, which had spread to his torso, tummy & back and all over his head and face. “It’s Roseola”, she stated. My first thought was oh my god, what is that? Something that will leave him paralyzed, will my other son get it? Is it like leprosy?

It is not. Just a virus, that passes through and when they are better, it is gone forever. It can cause redness of the ear canal, so that is why the other doctor suspected an ear infection. The fever comes on quick, spikes, breaks and then comes this awful rash. He doesn’t seemed bothered by it and pretty content. The pediatrician said it usually lasts around 6 or 7 days. At first it looked scary but it is aleady fading, and he seems himself.

Ben was about 1 year old here….now he can do a lot more than spit.

Poop, poop and more poop

Over the summer, my husband & I decided to renovate our bathroom.  I was due with our second baby in November so we figured to get the project done early.  This being said, during construction we were left without a shower.  Luckily both our of parents lived within five minutes from us, so bath time for my son was no problem.  My son was about 18 months that summer and still in diapers.

One morning I was in the kitchen getting breakfast while my son played in the living room.  When I got up to the living room my son was standing there without a diaper.  At first I thought “how cute he is learning how to take off his clothes”.  That was not the case.  I looked past him at his diaper and noticed he pooped before taking off his diaper.  Then I looked at him and noticed that he must have tried to pick up the mess he had made.  Yes, exactly the poop was all over his rear end and hands. 

Without a shower I panicked and finally decided to stick him in the kitchen sink.  No problem right?  Well as I put him down in the sink he screamed and reached up for my head.  Then my arms.  Then my face.  I then proceeded to clean him while he was waving his arms and grabbing at me.  By the end of this disaster he was clean and free of poop.  The problem was I was covered in poop from head to waist and anywhere he had reached for me.  Luckily he fit in the sink so I could clean him, but I was left unable to fit in the sink and without a shower.  That is clearly the grossest thing I have done as a parent.

After a long night of teething……we are awake at 7:00 am. This is where being a mother becomes a real job. It is a Saturday morning and regardless of how many hours you slept, you still need to wake up when your children do, feed them , change them play with them, and answer all their needs.  It is always a job being a mother but who actually works more than 40 hours a week without getting paid over time?